What Residential Treatment is Really Like

Timberline Knolls: “Making a real life difference”

I’m a planner. I plan out what I’m going to wear, I plan out my schedule by the day, the week, the month. Spending a month of my life at Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center was definitely not a part of the plan. I didn’t know what to expect leading up to TK. I had never done anything like this, nor did I know anyone who had. My therapist and dietician tried to prepare me, but it’s really hard to explain unless you’ve been there and been through it. No matter how much I tried to prepare, I never could’ve prepared for how much I would love it.

I know it sounds like a weird thing to love, but a little part of my heart will forever be with TK in Lemont, IL.

So what was it really like at TK? Well, I was woken up every day at 5:30 for vitals, and sometimes blood work. (I didn’t love that part). In between vitals and breakfast at 7:15, I started a bible study with some of the girls in my lodge. Those mornings spent talking about God’s role in recovery are some of my sweetest memories from TK. The days at TK were very structured and scheduled, which is probably why I liked it so much. I think part of me will have that schedule memorized forever. Meals at 7:15, 12:15, and 5:15. Snacks at 10:00, 3:00, and 8:00. Groups at 9:00, 11:00, 2:00, 4:00, and 7:15. The groups were scheduled by the weekday. So every Monday was the same, Tuesday the same, etc. Groups varied in location, size, leader, and topic. Some groups were core groups, which all residents would attend. Those were things like process groups, self image, DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), relapse prevention, and my personal favorite, yoga! Since TK treats all kinds of disorders and addictions, there were more specific groups that would be assigned by each person’s therapist.

One of the best things about TK was their Christian Programming. It was one of the things that drew me there in the first place. (Besides it being one of the only places that took our insurance, but that’s another saga.) I was blessed to have a Christian therapist who met with me 3 times a week. I also attended Christian groups and bible studies. We even had the opportunity to go to church on Sundays! These faith groups became a real backbone for my recovery, and one of the reasons I loved TK so much.

Another thing I never expected was to become so close with the other residents. I made friends at TK that I will have for the rest of my life. Friendships at TK are on a different level. Except for sleeping at night, I pretty much spent all day with the residents of Maple Lodge. I may not have known anyone’s last name until I got their contact information when I left, but within days I knew them closer than people I had been friends with for years. Never in my life have I come to know people on such a personal level so quickly. It was truly amazing. My TK sisters are the strongest women I have ever met, and I consider myself blessed that I was able to be a part of their journeys, as well as them being such an important part of mine. I truly believe my month would not have been as successful without the genuine love and support from the most amazing, strong, inspirational women of Maple Lodge. Leaving them was harder than I could ever imagine. Luckily, keeping in touch through social media, texting, and phone calls keeps the friendships going.

What truly made TK so special was the staff. My recovery did not just happen from one person, but a combination of support and encouragement from the BHS’s (Behavioral Health Specialists), the group leaders, the nurses, the group leaders, the Eating Disorder Specialists, and every staff member at TK. Let me start with the BHS’s. So the BHS’s were the people in our lodge all day. They would be there at 6 AM (or earlier) and stay long after we all went to sleep. They were there for every meal and snack, every group, every question or problem, and most importantly they were there for every single person. There were many nights when there was only 2 BHS’s working that night and a million things for them to do. But every single time I said I needed to talk, they would stay way later than they had to just to make sure I got what I needed. Whether I was stressed at a meal, feeling discouraged, or missing home and school, they knew what I needed before I had time to ask. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifices the BHS’s made for us.

From the day I was admitted to TK to the day I was discharged, I did not have my cell phone or any internet access. Something that I was a little nervous for turned out to be so freeing and refreshing. I truly think everyone should completely unplug. Whether it’s for a week, a month, whatever. It really changes your perspective on things. Of course I missed being able to text friends and family all day, or listening to music, or googling whatever random question popped into my head, but it was a truly freeing experience. I caught myself looking for my phone the first few days, but by the end of the month, I didn’t even notice I was missing it anymore. In those downtimes during the day where I would’ve been on social media or texting, I was having intentional conversations with friends, I was journaling, I was having quiet time with God, I was coloring. I was taking time to focus on myself, instead of hearing about everyone else’s lives. Obviously I am back on social media now, but I have really cut back. It becomes a fun game now to decrease my screen time day by day. It taught me that building yourself up through self care has so much more value than seeking worth through social media.

The best way I have found to describe TK is like a different kind of school. I had roommates, just like in a dorm. My room had 4 beds. Since everyone is at TK for different amounts of time, I had 5 different roommates in a month. Our rooms were actually pretty nice. We each had a bed, a dresser, a side table, a closet, and a bulletin board above our beds. Each room also had its own bathroom, with a shower. The showers were only unlocked between 6-7 AM and 9-10 PM. When you have one hour for 3 girls who all shower at night, you learn to shower pretty quick. Since I’m used to dorm life and a busy schedule, I adjusted to this new “school” pretty quick.

With how much I love school, it’s really no surprise that I loved TK. It became my security blanket, my safe place, my temporary home. I expected TK to give me my life back, but I didn’t expect for it to give me my life and more.