“You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are.”
Eating Disorders love to convince you that you’re not “sick enough.” That’s one of their favorite lies to plant in your brain to keep you engaging in behaviors. I know for me, it was one of the biggest battles. I always felt like there was someone who had it worse, or someone who had struggled longer. I thought I had only been struggling for a few months, that’s just not fair to people who have battled this for years.
When I got to Timberline Knolls I met a lot of different women. Women my age, women older than me, mothers, wives, widows. I met women with anxiety, depression, bipolar, multiple personalities, and many different types of trauma and addictions. But I knew instantly that these were the strongest women I would ever meet. That only proved to be more true as I got to know them and their stories.
During my first few days at TK, my heart began to break for the women there. As I learned more of each of their stories, I couldn’t believe the horrible things they had all been through. I began to feel guilty, my life sounded like a breeze compared to them. I really let it get to me for awhile. I felt like I didn’t belong at TK, it should be used for people that “really deserved it.” I felt guilty for not being on any medication. I felt guilty that I had grown up with both parents. I had felt guilty that I “wasn’t that sick.” ED voice had taken so much of my self worth that I didn’t even think I deserved to get better. I felt like I didn’t deserve treatment.
Here’s what I had to realize: Everyone deserves recovery. No matter your background, no matter your mental health history, no matter what led you there, everyone deserves treatment, and everyone deserves recovery.
The comparison game is one you will never win. There will always be someone better off, someone worse off, someone who has been through more, someone who has been through less. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is you. ED voice loves the comparison game because it’s another way to tell you you’re not enough. But here’s the thing, you don’t want to “win” at having an eating disorder. There’s no way you can win at having anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder. The only thing you can do is recover, and that’s something everyone deserves. It doesn’t matter if you’ve struggled for weeks, months, or years. No one should have to deal with an eating disorder or any other mental health struggle. Recovery is possible and recovery is worth it.
You were put on this Earth for a reason. You were put on this Earth to be a loved, cherished, child of God. It doesn’t matter what everyone else has been through. It matters that God has crafted a beautiful, unique story for your life, and you deserve to enjoy it. No matter what the voice in your head tells you, you matter. You matter to this world and you matter to me.